Mother's Day Link-up: My Mother, The Haggler

Thanks, Holly, for having a fun link-up for Mother's Day to share stories about our lovely mothers!

I figured I could go on and on about how much I love my mom and how she's my best friend and a great lady and she's been there for me through thick and thin and yada, yada, yada...{well, there, I did, in the condensed version} but it's more fun to share one of her quirks.

And quirks she has.

My mom and I are opposite in a lot of ways but I like to think I inherited her loving and nurturing ways. One of the main ways we are opposite is the are in which my mother has no shame when it comes to getting a good deal. Getting what she believes to be the best deal. I keep thinking that maybe as I get older this will come more naturally or I won't feel so bad for trying to haggle someone who is trying to make a little extra money or ends meat down to the last penny that I think is possible.

There are stories upon stories over the years including car salesmen, couch salesmen, cell phone guys, antique dealers, and of course garage sales. The most current would be the meat salesman who came to our door on Monday. My mom and I were in E's room trying to get her to sleep and a guy came to the door giving some story about having an excess of meat so his boss told him to go get rid of it so it was a really good deal. It was basically an Omaha Steak situation, just a different name. I was holding the baby so Ben and my mom went out to the van. They were out there for a good fifteen to twenty minutes and came back empty handed with my mom going on about what she would have paid him had he taken it. They talked about the prices and the product for a few more minutes and then Ben just kept saying how he felt bad for the guy and man, what was he doing selling meat out of a van and such and such. My mom just laughed and said, well, he has a job.

So my mom left and a little later Ben just looked up and again expressed his disbelief in how my mom can just keep asking and asking for the lowest price and Ben just sits there feeling bad for the guy. I learned a long time ago that yes, in the moment it is really embarrassing to be standing next to my mom when she is working her magic wheeling and dealing but we are all appreciative in the end when we pay way less than we would have. And, she always says, it never hurts to ask and then if it doesn't work out, obviously they can't go lower on the price and we can make our decision to buy or walk away from there.

{another "mom" quirk? She has a beautiful smile full of beautiful, white teeth and she never manages a smile for pictures. I think she is always talking during pictures.... ;)}

So, Mom, Happy Mother's Day and thanks for never being bashful about getting me a good deal! ;)

Head on over and share a story about your mom!

A Couple of Mom Milestones

I guess the ol' blog keeps getting away from me as for some reason my days fly by. It sounds weird, and some of them seem rather long, but before I know it, I am cooking dinner and Ben is walking through the door. A wise friend said to me the other day: The days are long and the years are short. We haven't made it a year, yet, in this whole parenting saga, but I already know what that means.

Anyway, we had a couple of fun/new things happen in the past month that I wanted to document. I kind of wrote about going out and about with Eleanor back in February and I can assure you, I am definitely better now. I think it all just has to do with gaining confidence, getting used to having to take a million things along with us and everything taking triple the amount of time it used to. That's okay though.

Eleanor and I went out to lunch a couple of times. Once with my mom and once with a friend and her nephew. Both times she sat in her carseat the whole time, looking around, smiling and just being content. It was great. Well, a couple of weekends ago we went to Ben's basketball game which was on a Sunday afternoon and after that our group of friends had decided to go get some drinks and food after the game. We ended up at a pizzeria by the University of Washington which was actually perfect because when we got there, no one was there. At first E was great, looking around, sitting in my lap and playing with some toys. The place began to fill but I felt at ease because at almost every table there were either kids or babies. Very family friendly. As it filled, it got pretty warm as well. We got through our salads and our dinners had just come and E started to melt down. Ben walked outside with her and she immediately calmed down. He came back in, sat for a few minutes and she just wasn't having it. So I took her and Ben finished his dinner. Outside, she was happy as a clam, talking, smiling and resting her head on my shoulder. I think she just got a little overwhelmed.

This was a good outing for us because although it did not go perfectly {which, let's be honest here, what ever will in our lives now that we have a baby in tow?!} it went. I did not feel embarrassed that Eleanor was crying. I didn't feel anxious. I wasn't "angry" that I was "missing out" on dinner or visiting with friends. We just dealt with the situation. It may not be what works next time in the same instance but at that moment, that was what was working so that's what we did. I felt good driving home {even though she cried in the car} and felt just a little more confident about being a mommy.

Last week, for some reason, felt a little bit long by Friday morning. Eleanor and I had been home all week and even with a few visitors were feeling a little cooped up.  I had been looking on Old Navy's website and had seen a few cute baby clothes. So, instead of ordering them online {you know, like a true hermit would do...which I am totally not...}, I decided E and I could make the 20 minute drive to our nearest Old Navy. When I pulled up to the mall, she was still awake so I puller her out of her carseat, slipped her into the Ergo and went on our merry way. We wandered around the store, E was content and I felt good. She was close to falling asleep when we left the store so she fell asleep once we got in the car. My first solo shopping trip with my daughter. I think that's a milestone in any mom's book!

I know, some may look at me and think I am weird. Or a scaredy-cat or whatever other words you can use to describe a first-time mom who is hesitant to do a lot of things but I feel as if I am doing what works for us.  And, although it probably sounds silly to some, every little milestone we hit, makes me feel good. And like a mom.

5 Months

Dear Miss Eleanor Grace,

You continue to amaze us everyday. It is so hard to keep up because it just feels like everyday you do something new whether it's a little squint you do with your eyes or a big roll from your back to your belly.

That's right, you became a roller this month. It actually happened on a morning after I awoke to a giant "present" in your diaper for me, dog puke on the rug when we came out to the living room and then as I set you on the floor, turned for a moment, turned back around and you rolled from you back to your belly with little effort. It looked like you had always been able to do it! I felt like I was having a heart attack, I was so excited. I can only imagine what I will feel like as you complete more and more milestones.

Your personality continues to shine through and it seems you may be starting to figure out a little bit of a courtesy/fake laugh. It is pretty funny. You are happy most of the time. Evening still continues to be your most unnerved time but even that is mellowing out. You still continue to love bath time and you even sit up in the infant/toddler end sometimes not just the reclined position. You are getting stronger sitting up and are gaining more balance. I think you prefer to sit up with assistance these days as opposed to laying on your back. When you roll onto your stomach it seems that you get a little frustrated because it looks like you want to go somewhere!

You are wearing mostly six month clothes. I think I have said this before but clothes are very weird and all fit differently so it is hard to pinpoint one size.

We have tried a couple of cups this month. It is my fault for not being consistent enough because that means pumping breastmilk which I don't do much of. We tried some out of the freezer but didn't think that was the best idea. You seem interested in the straw so that is encouraging and hopefully that motivates me to pump more so you can continue to learn to use the straw.

You are still having a little bit of unhappy time in the car. You seem fine on the way to wherever we are going but no matter how long we are at a destination, whether you've eaten and had a diaper change, but you are not happy on the way home. You visited your first few restaurants this month. Once with Oma and I for lunch, once with a friend, her nephew and I for lunch and once with Dad, our group of friends and I for dinner.

You have noticed that you have a built in best friend around the house--the dog. You watch her whenever she is in the room and even laugh at her. You love being on your stomach and looking up at her and talking to her. I think Holly will be more interested in you once you start moving around and sharing some meals with her!

All in all, E, you are a joy. We just continue to smile and laugh with you and chomp at the bit everyday to teach you, love you and kiss on you.

We love you so much, pretty baby girl.

Xoxo,
Mama

The 4th Weekend in a Row With no Rain

Yes, I would say that is something to brag about around these parts. Ben said that to me yesterday and then we had a chuckle that even if it's fifty five degrees and not that sunny, just having no rain is something to be happy about.

This past weekend was really, really nice. A few weekends ago, I think we were feeling like we were in a rut. We hadn't been doing much on the weekends, but they seemed to go so quickly. So, last weekend, we made plans, hung out with some friends, went out to a restaurant and it was refreshing.

This weekend, we stayed home all weekend but it didn't feel like it flew by and it was enjoyable. Friday, Ben worked a half day and was home by one in the afternoon. We hung out, had some lunch and then I went to a home shopping party with a friend and Ben and Baby E had a date. I got home, Ben made some dinner and we  had a good night's sleep.

Saturday morning we woke up and got going slowly. We had the first season of Mad Men from Netflix so we watched a few episodes of that, played with Eleanor and relaxed. After a couple of hours, we both started getting antsy so we got some chores done. Nothing too exciting--vacuuming, dusting, getting some books together to give away, getting rid of some clutter, laundry, dishes cleaning the bathrooms. None of it really felt like work, though, we had some music going and were visiting the whole time. Ben, then, decided to head out and mow the lawn so E and I stayed in the house and she ate, napped and I read and watched the Kentucky Derby. It was relaxing. When Ben finished, we made dinner, had a glass of wine, watched the Spurs game and I headed in to nurse E to sleep.

Sunday morning we awoke to bright blue skies. We had known it was supposed to be nicer on Sunday than Saturday so it was nice that we had done a majority of chores on Saturday. We watched the last episode of Mad Men, made breakfast, talked to Ben's family on Skype and put E down for a nap. We headed outside and played with the chickens a bit and once Eleanor woke up we took Holly down to the lake to throw the ball for her. E got to ride in the front pack, sunglasses and all. Eleanor just loves being outside. She is relaxed and just sort of takes it all in. I love it. When we got back from the lake, we made lunch, laid a blanket out in the yard and let Eleanor roll around while we ate. We came inside for a bit, Eleanor had a little cat-nap and then we took her jumper outside and shaded her while Ben and I read. So relaxing. We came in, had a bite to eat before Ben went to play basketball and then it was just E and I. She napped for a while, woke up, played and then it was time for bed. We had a marathon diaper event before bed {3 diapers before we had a clean one to put her down in!} and once Ben got home, we got her down and she slept great again.

There was nothing major that happened this weekend. Now big event to report on. It was just an all-around, nice, relaxing weekend. At the end of each day we were relaxed, got to smile at each other and say we had a great day. I love that. I love that Baby E is so content when we are all together as a family, get to spend time outside and enjoy each other. I know we will always look back fondly on days like this as she grows and know that they laid the foundation for her loving family.

I just realized I exaggerated a little bit. It did rain on Saturday morning. But that was tolerable because we were doing chores! 

So, About Working Out...

I am totally not trying to make excuses. Things just happen.

I was doing so well for about 4 weeks with walking and doing P90X. Then my chronic back issue flared up. Without getting into too much detail about that, let's just say it put me out of "working out" commission and I haven't really gotten back into it. That was about two weeks ago. I am still having some back irritation so I am a little nervous to do any P90X. I have gone on a few walks here and there.

However, I am realizing that although there are the moms that get right out there the minute they walk out of their 6 week postpardum visit, there are way more that don't. There are way more that start working out when they feel right, or when they can get their workouts in and don't really fret about it.

I see so many moms, my real life friends and blog friends, that find themselves 6 or 8 months postpardum just starting to feel a little more normal. I also think that being a first time mom, my whole world has been turned upside down. Just finding time to grab something to eat is sometimes hard for me.

I also think that breastfeeding and working out is proving to be a little difficult. Breastfeeding is...time consuming. Yes, I knew that going in but the actual execution of it is a bit of a wake up call. So, after I have nursed my baby to sleep for a nap, it is hard to want to put her down and get up and at it. Also with breastfeeding comes the whole crazy, huge appetite issue. It's hard to find the perfect time to workout when, oh the baby is napping but I feel the need to stuff my face right now because I am feeding another human. 


Anyway.

As I said, I am not making excuses I am just realizing that it's hard. And I know the time will come when it's nicer weather and I can put E in the stroller and make her part of my workouts and yes, I am looking forward to that, however, I am not stressing about it.

Saturday Warm Fuzzies

Do you ever have those moments you just want to savor?

I had one at about 3am this morning.

I was rocking my baby after she had her feeding and was resting my cheek against her soft hair--or she was resting her head against my cheek. either way, we were resting on each other--my eyes were closed, I breathed deeply and thanked God for this beautiful blessing.

I am always thankful for her but in this moment, I prayed that she stay this sweet, healthy, and happy for as long as I have anything to do with it.

I held her a couple extra moments longer, set her back down, crawled back in bed and curled up next to my husband.

It was a beautiful and peaceful 3am wake-up where I got to savor my many blessings.

Happy Weekending, friends.

The Reality of It

I was talking to my close friend yesterday who has two sons. She has always thought she was going to have a third child but now she says she is on the fence. There were reasons that she told me and then unfortunately, I brought up the one that none of us likes to admit is kind of a legitimate reason to stop expanding the family.

Money.

It is a family's choice how children will be raised. Going to daycare. At home with mom. At home with a baby-sitter. At home with some other family member. There are obviously  multiple ways to choose how your family brings in money and who spends the days with the kids.

For many families, the choice is for the wife to stay home and the husband to go to work. For my friend and I, this is what our families have chosen. However, it makes things a little tight around the spending area. Not saying that two-income families have things easy by any means but this is the subject that we got on. With the way our economy is these days, it is hard to fathom having a big family and being able to live on one income.

It then brings me to the question of: Why do we want a lot of kids or a bigger family?


I grew up with one sibling and Ben grew up with two. I think I always liked the idea of maybe having another sibling or two. I don't know why I just did. So growing up, I thought I would have four kids. I think Ben always liked that idea too. After having our first child, we have realized many challenges with a baby that I think we didn't expect but all that aside, the reality of one income and the cost of raising children has reared it's ugly head.

This realization makes me sad. I don't think a reason for not having as many children as you like should be money. I do think there are ways to make it work but it takes sacrifice somewhere. If we want Ben to be in a position of many long work hours I think we know ways and where he can fit in to make a hefty salary to support us. However, we want a dad that is present for our family and not one that we see every once and awhile. We have always been very clear about that.

My friend and I were just commiserating on the fact that we don't want money to be a reason to stop having babies, but in reality, I think that is a reason. It is sad and scary how much life costs these days. But it is what it is and we all get by somehow. We are so fortunate for what we do have and thankful to be stay at home moms with husbands willing to support us and our family choices. Whether she has one more and whether I have one, two or three more, is obviously up in the air and will work itself out but it doesn't hurt to look into the future a bit and try to see what lies ahead.

But, hey, anytime this economic downturn wants to upturn would be just dandy!