Friday is Here Again

This week has been really great. Ben is actually off work because he starts a new job on Monday! This is a really exciting change for him and our family and we are very excited to see what this next chapter brings. We have been enjoying having him home, getting to do some activities as a family and getting some chores done around the house.

Last week I had a pretty frustrating week as my back problem flared up again. It seems like the pattern has been when I start back running, it flares. I am hoping to just ease back into my workouts because it seems like in the past I just stop working out for months after a flare up and then jump back in and the cycle continues. I haven't really done much for the past week and a half so this week I have slowly done a couple core workouts and am hoping to get back to yoga next week.

A few weeks ago I was invited to be part of a workout program that I was actually really excited about. A lot of it seems like some of the stuff I am already doing but it also includes a meal plan. It is the Revolt Fitness Program and I am excited to get into some of the workouts. I am not promising that I will be following exactly day by day due to my back issues but I will try my best! There isn't anything wrong with some clean eating, which we do a lot of anyway, and some new workout moves invented by a mom right?! I also love that it promotes getting fit in your own home as opposed to spending hours and hours in a gym if we don't have the time. Not that I have anything against gyms. I just, personally, don't have a membership and am always a fan of quick, intense workouts. I think that's why so many of us are fans of the 30 Day Shred. Am I right?!

I feel a little bad about my back last week and then of course on top of that dealing with the ol' lady business this week. I can't say I have been the biggest treat for my husband to hang out with but hey, he's a good sport and hopefully I can buck up for these last couple days of vacation. Speaking of vacation, my in-laws will be coming into town in a couple of weeks and for the weekend we will be venturing back up to our college town to explore, shop around, eat around maybe even venture to the snow.

Speaking of again of college towns, we headed into the city the other night right near where my brother went to college and went to a few bars in celebration of Ben's going away happy hour with his old team. It was fun to feel a little trendy for the night and have a couple drinks with his former co-workers.

This weekend we are hopefully finishing up a few DIY projects we decided to tackle, one of which includes chalkboard paint which I am trying not to use on everything, so hopefully I will be back next week with some pictures of those projects and some more fitness chit chat! Have a great weekend!

It's Me Again

I have a friend who had her baby almost exactly 6 months ahead of when I did. It was nice to chat with her about things, relate to things she was experiencing a little bit before me and then when I got to that point even be able to have her go back and say, "oh yes, that happened to me/us too."

I distinctly remember her telling me that she did not feel "normal" until her baby was about six months old. I kept holding onto that through those hard, grueling, tiresome first few months. All the way up until six months. I didn't feel it. I still wasn't normal. I held out a few more months and then I brought it up to her. She replied with well, yes, I thought it was true but it wasn't until about nine months.

I kept holding out. There would be better days than others. However, I still wasn't myself. I would complain about it. I knew it. I knew I was crazy, emotional, hormonal and overwhelmed, I just didn't know what to do about it.

Fast forward again to Eleanor's birthday party and my friend and I were talking again. Oh, Allyce, she said, you really don't feel like yourself again until about 15 months old. 15 months?! Well, that was a far cry from her original 6 month mark and then her 9 month mark. But I laughed and agreed and scolded her for giving me these false hopes. Not really but we did laugh.

The other night we got together, our four couples of friends, without kids and her and I were chatting again. We were talking about her friend who is now in those early months with a three month old and she was telling her that it is all just really weird. A weird time, weird experiences, feeling weird and all that.

We had a great day as a family yesterday complete with a family nap, a walk and a good dinner. I was joking around being my quirky self and Ben was laughing. I turned to him and said, "Hey, isn't this the Allyce you like?" and he replied with, "Ya, she just took a break for awhile and gave all her goodness to her," and pointed down to Eleanor. I totally took that as a compliment.

Over this past year plus I have given my all to Eleanor. It has left little to no time for myself. And what I wasn't giving to Eleanor I was trying to give to my husband. I finally am getting to the point where I feel like I am back. So, these bench marks of when we feel normal again as mothers are different for everyone and for some it is just a new normal to get used to. I also feel like it is easier now that Eleanor is to the point where she can be a little more independent playing while I make dinner or able to quietly ride in her stroller while I run. I also don't feel a panic come over when I do leave her for a few hours or even overnight. All of this is okay and I know it is a good balance to be a mom but also to be me and be a wife.

Will I do everything the exact same with a second baby? I can't say. I will always be a mom that does what feels right for us at the time. Have I learned a few things on this first go around? Well, you betcha. I have also learned that it is okay if I am not doing the exact same thing as every other mother out there. Eleanor is my baby and I am her mother. That's really all that matters even if it did take me almost 15 months to get back to that quirky self of mine.

Go ahead and link up with Becky to share what's on your heart today.

Somethings Just Make You Smile

This past week and a half has really been a memorable one. The weekend before Thanksgiving we got to celebrate with two friends from college as they got married. They have been together for over seven years, everyone has known they would get married for awhile and it was so fun to be a part of the huge celebration. It was just one of those weddings that every feels good about, is happy to be a part of and was just overflowing with love and joy for the couple. It was also so fun to get to see so many college friends that we don't get to see near enough.

We took Eleanor to the wedding for the first couple of hours and then it was close enough that my parents came and picked her up before her dinner time, fed her dinner, took her to our house and put her to bed. We stayed for a few more hours and had a great time dancing and visiting. Eleanor must have known that mom and dad were out a little late because she didn't wake up until 745am! Unheard of! We got a slow start, Ben worked at home for a little while and then we headed over to my parents' to celebrate my brother's 25th birthday. A friend of his that was like a little brother to  me came up and we got to meet his almost 9 month old son and visit with him and his wife. It was really nice to see old friends that we hadn't seen in awhile.

Starting mid-week, we spent a lot of time over at my parents' house because they were hosting Thanksgiving so E and I went over to keep my mom company on Tuesday and then again Wednesday afternoon. My dad was off work Wednesday and Ben came our when he got off work. We had a throw together dinner since they were preparing for Thursday but it was just a nice relaxing evening.

Thursday we spent a nice morning at our house, slept in a little, had breakfast, Skyped with our Texas fam and then headed to my parents' after E's morning nap. My parents tried something a little different this year for the bird which actually consisted of three birds; turkey, duck and chicken. Yep, that's right, a turducken. We spent the rest of the day there, my brother and his girlfriend came, my grandparents and my great grandma. It was a nice dinner, relaxing day and we went home full and happy.

Friday we were home some of the day, ran some errands and then came home and made a good dinner. I did start to get out some decorations that day but it sure is quite a bit harder to whip it all out with a baby running around!

Saturday Ben headed over to my great grandma's with my dad and brother to put up her Christmas lights and I put E down for her morning nap and then we all met over at my parents' so the guys could brew some beer, we played with E and I ended up making some gumbo.

Ben worked for awhile Sunday morning and then we spent the rest of the day finishing up Christmas decorations, lights and relaxing before the holiday was over.

I know none of this sounds out of the normal or not like any super special events took place. It was just a week full of things to be thankful for. People, family, friends, warmth, good food and relaxation. It was a "good for the soul" kind of weekend and it actually was kind of calming rather than stressful like sometimes holidays can be. It felt like a great kick-off to E's first holiday season as not a newborn!

Yes, I Know How to Wash Nice Jeans

A few months back, Ben, Eleanor and I headed to the mall to get a birthday gift for Eleanor's friend who was turning one. Well, of course, Ben mentioned he needed some new, brown work shoes. Wouldn't you just know that Nordstrom had the men's half yearly sale going on? Perfect timing.

My logic on work clothes, nice clothes, etc. is that if I am going to buy them, I want nice things that will last. I don't mind spending a little extra on clothes that last so when we can hit up the sales at stores like Nordstrom for these types of clothes, it is perfection.

We head over to the shoe section, he quickly picks them out since he knew what he wanted and while we were at it, I told him he should just get a new pair of casual/dress shoes since they were on sale too. After some grumbling, he agreed so we walked out of the area with two pairs of shoes for Ben.

Since we were in the area, I suggested we go look at jeans. Let me bring you up to speed on Ben's jean situation. He basically wears Wranglers (from Target) and his "nice" pair to wear to work on casual Fridays was, I believe, Calvin Kleins from Costco. I had been bugging him for awhile that his Friday jeans were not up to par, didn't fit right and it was time for a new pair. Ben is a public accountant and audits for a pretty big, well-known company and I told him he can't be going in there looking like a 12 year-old anymore!

He rolls his eyes at me a lot.

So we head over to the men's section. We are quickly approached by a sales associate as we are looking through piles of jeans. We tell him what we are looking for and he shows Ben his jeans and asks if that is what he is looking for. "No, mister sales man, by husband who is wearing boots, wranglers and a t-shirt from his brother's basketball tournament is not looking to wear dark male skinny jeans with weird seams down the sides!" Ben, politely re-explained what he was looking for with a couple chime-ins from me and the guy pulled a few pairs and we went to try them on.

Ben picked a pair, realized what he has been missing--aka, a pair of jeans that actually fit and look like a grown-up-- and we went on our merry way.

Ok, this was all back in June. He basically wears them to work every Friday, comes home, hangs them in the closet and repeat the next week. Well, last weekend I realized, and yes I can't believe it took this long, that they had never been washed! In 5 months! What kind of wife am I? So I tell him I'm washing them.

"No you're not," he tells me, "You don't know how to wash those kind of jeans."
I laugh and tell him I do and that they are going in the wash.
"Do NOT dry them!"
"Ben, I won't." 

Although, he did have a fair point here because I will put things in the wash, have a couple things I don't want to dry then shove it all in the dryer because I am in a hurry and have ruined some clothes along the way with this method. Again, he did have a fair point of making his no dry policy clear. However, I am aware of the method of washing nice denim so it doesn't get ruined.

Basically Ben, just because I am not up on all the latest trends lately, I do still have a few tricks up my sleeve and one of them is making sure your prized jeans are not dried. Except, they did go in the dryer. To get fluffed after hanging to dry.

Pretty sure they are still in tact for next Friday.

Busy Bees

The next few weekends it feels like we are jam-packed with plans.

Sometimes I feel like we never do anything and then all of a sudden it is the total opposite and there is no end in sight.

Tomorrow I have a bridal shower for a good friend and then Ben and I are going to a brewery's anniversary party. After that we have been invited to a friend's house to hang out in the evening.

With all these plans comes some juggling with the babe. I still don't really leave her except for a couple hours here and there with my mom to run to the store or be home to get a couple chores done, uninterrupted. Over these next few weeks I think there are some events that will require a few more hours than normal.

I know, I know. It's good and I need to start and breakaway at some point but that doesn't make it any easier on my mama heart. We are sllllooowwly starting the weaning process. {Unexpected, yes and basically a whole 'nother post in itself.} So she is definitely going longer stretches between nursing sessions and eating table food really well. I think it is just a hard thing to grasp. That she is okay for that long without me. You get so used to the routine of basically being needed by this little human all the time and then all of a sudden that need starts to slow down. She is becoming more independent, plays on her own here and there, can find me in the house on her own. It is all so exciting yet bittersweet at the same time.

Tomorrow will require being away for a minimum of 5-6 hours. That would be the longest I have been away from her. Even when I say it, it sounds a little crazy! But, it has been what has been right for us. So I will leave mid-morning, attend the shower, meet up with Ben for the afternoon and then we will head home. She will most likely have lunch and an afternoon snack and maybe some coconut milk with my parents. I will come home, she will be happy and well-taken care of.

Oh you don't need to be reassured by all this? I do? Ohh, okay, got it.

Anyway, next weekend's events will require us to be away for bedtime. We were away for bedtime, kind of, once. Once in 11 months. We did the whole dinner, bath and I nursed her, and she went down soon after we left. This time, we will be leaving late afternoon and won't be back until about 10:30pm.

This instance is a little more stressful for me but I know I just need to do it and she will be fine.

We are four weeks away from the big one year birthday and I think my heart is having a hard time adjusting to this new stage.

Yes it is exhausting to be needed all of the time, but I am her mom. That's what I'm here for and what I am used to. I know the next stage is so fun as well but with this first year coming quickly to a close and these new experiences approaching, I feel like I am entitled to some sentimental time as well.

All that said, I am excited to leave her in very capable hands and get to get out, visit with some friends, have fun and feel like a normal human. I mean, I will admit to being a little socially awkward these days, but hey, friends should understand right?!

What are you up to this weekend?

Choosing the Good & Positive

Sometimes I find myself slipping into Negative Town without even knowing it and then I am so far in that it is hard to recover and I start convincing myself that everything is hard, or going to be hard or being mean to those closet to me, i.e. my husband. So ridiculous right?! Afterwards I am so embarrassed and know I am better than that.

For some reason though, sometimes it becomes easier to be negative or to look at things pessimistically. Does that even make sense? Isn't that silly? It should always be easier to be happy and choose the positive, should it not?

I have been super inspired by this lady's posts lately about bettering herself and being better at her most important roles: wife and mom. I think we can all stand to improve in these areas on the daily, myself most definitely included. It is easy to be selfish and feel sorry for myself sometimes about how little sleep I am getting, how I am tired from breast feeding, how my days can be long, how Ben is working long hours and we barely get to say two sentences before falling into bed exhausted.

But you know what?

I am also pretty damn lucky and have a lot to be thankful for. I should be choosing the positive way more often than not. I don't want to be a martyr and I don't want to feel sorry for myself. Or my husband to feel like he should feel sorry for me by the passive aggressive quips I like to immaturely throw into conversation from time to time. Grow up, Allyce, seriously.

So, as a start, I sent off a positive text to my husband this morning. He didn't get home until 10:30 from work last night after being in at 7am, driving home in construction, dealing with an annoying dog, I got up twice in the night nurse the baby and after laying her back down and crawled back under the covers myself hoping for just maybe 40 more minutes of shut eye and feeling slightly bitter as to how the last 12 hours had gone, I looked over at my phone sitting there and sent him a text thanking him for his hard work and telling him I loved him. He responded positively and I know he appreciated it.

Yes, it would have been easy to not send it, to stew this morning about how annoying our dog is, how tired I am, how we haven't had dinner as a family since Sunday night but as I have started learning from Shannon, who does that really help? It isn't Ben's fault he had to work late or that E woke up a couple of times or that our dog is annoying. I know that if he had the power, he would wave his hand in a second to make it all better. And that's why he deserved my appreciation this morning instead of a few negative comments to start the day like I have been known to do.

I'm not saying it's going to happen over night but I want to start making the effort especially since this won't be the only couple of weeks that we have some late work nights for Ben. Yes it is only a couple months out of the year and I know some have it way worse and in the big picture it is not that bad. At the time it always seems horrible and hard but this too shall pass and we will be in a better spot because of it all. So it's time I suck it up and start acting like a grown up!

Update, Memory Record, Random

I am trying to write this, drink some water, relax and decide on the theme for E's first birthday all at the same time. I know, not that crazy but still, always multitasking if she is in her crib for a nap! Can I also just pause for a minute and re-iterate that I just typed first birthday?! Can't believe that's on the radar!

I am trying not to make the decision on her party decor a huge deal, but I still want to decide on something cute. Ben just reminded me of the "bedding debacle of '11" in which I stressed and went back and forth and thought long and hard over her bedding for her crib and how I laughed the other day and said, "I think I should sell her bedding, we don't even use it." We obviously don't use the big puffy "comforter," we have back up sheets so we aren't always using the crib sheet that came with, the bumper is off because we have a breathable one in there right now, the skirt is barely visible under her crib and just the other day we took the valance down and replaced with longer, blackout curtains. You know, because her window had been draped, hillbilly-style, with a blanket to create darkness. Oy.

Anyway. Back to the randomness that is our life. Over the past couple months we have had a little bit of goings on. Nothing of huge significance but worth noting on our part. We, well mostly I, am thoroughly annoyed of our dog. Which I feel really bad about because I love her and it's mostly not her fault that she is annoying it just is the way it is. She sheds like a...well, something that sheds a lot. And with the shedding comes the dander and when she scratches, shakes, walks or breathes, she is shedding. And it's disgusting. I can't really believe I have let my baby cohabit in the same dwelling as her for this long. And crawl around in it. Sick. So, last weekend we began taking our house back. We, as embarrassed as Ben is to say this, bought a shock collar, and are training her to be an outside dog. Why do you have to train your dog to be outside? you might ask. Well, our dog is afraid of something in our backyard and we don't know what. We thought it was the chickens and then quickly learned that is not the case because she jumps the chicken fence and plays merrily with the chickens. That's a whole 'nother story. So, we have to shock her, gently, when she is jumping at, scratching at or whining at the back door. Work in progress. We also got rid of the gross area rug we bought right before Eleanor was born because I really wanted a new, clean rug for the baby except that the dog hair wove itself into the stupid, braided design that I so carelessly bought because it was onsale and I was 9+ months pregnant and just wanted something. My awesome Dyson that I got for Christmas also began promptly ripping it up as soon as I started using it. Cool. Insert new, beautiful rug we got last weekend that has not begun to come apart and which I am trying my best to keep the dog off when she comes in to sleep at night.

We finished up the season pretty well with our garden with plentiful amounts of tomatoes, zucchini and summer squash. My rosebush also bloomed that we waited like, forever, 3 months to plant. It was beautiful.

I made a trip to my beloved college town, Bellingham, the other day in search of a solution for our night time diapering situation and came back with pre-fold cloth diapers of which I cannot figure out how to get around my baby. Hopefully more practice will help.

Here I am again during a nap time with a minute to blog and I cannot remember what I always want to sit down and type.

I am still in the middle of trying to decide to cut my hair off or go long. About 8 months ago I cut it just above my shoulders and then it grew pretty quickly and is in a fairly awkward stage of length and bushiness so I am back to trying to decide if I just want to grow it long or cut it to my chin, inverted bob-style. And some color, maybe I need some color. I see pictures of both my long and short styles and I like both. So, here I stand, undecided. As usual.

We went to the pumpkin patch last weekend with some friends. It was fun because it was the same patch Ben and I went to last year while I was still pregnant and we talked about how the following year we would have a lil' baby. And we did! She loved being outside, of course, and holding herself up on the pumpkins. There were two other babies so they all had fun exploring and being out in the beautiful weather!

I have been trying to decide what type of milk product we will be offering E once she turns one year. I was on a little kick of goat's milk for awhile and trying to convince Ben we need to get a goat. Probably not going to happen at this time. However, goat's milk is slightly more appealing to me than cow's milk, not that I don't drink cow's milk because I do, but supposedly goat's is just a little more easily digestible, less likely to be allergenic and a few other things. But do you know that goat's milk is flipping expensive?! So yes, we will see. Also, Ben thinks that since I can't stand the chickens right now, there is probably a good chance I will get annoyed of a goat too. Kind of like the dog. Also, we do live in the city-limits so we may not necessarily be wanting to create such a farm-like atmosphere on our little, quarter of an acre property. We may need to sell our house someday and don't necessarily want to look like such hillbillies with goats, chickens and whatever else we may dream up. Those might be dreams for the future.

Last week, one of my college roommates was passing by our city and she stopped in to meet E. She lives in San Diego and I hadn't seen her in over 2 years so it was great to see her and have her meet E. She just turned 30 and it was kind of a shocker that meant we had met 9 years ago in the dorms. Wow. Time flies.

So, those are some of the things going on in our life. On top of that, gearing up for the holidays, E's first birthday, traveling to Texas for Christmas and just trying to enjoy each say in itself and not getting ahead of ourselves. I am trying to soak up this last little bit of E's first year still in constant amazement that some days seem so long yet I look back and can't believe December is so quickly approaching!

And, sorry for the randomness but this is how my brain works these days! ;)

The New Normal

Coming off of vacation is usually a difficult adjustment whether you have a baby, kids or not! Getting back to work, the normal schedule, meals, etc. is enough to tire out anyone and even bring on a bit of depression. Okay maybe not depression but just a little disappointment that vacation is over and basically with our vacation being over, summer is pretty much over here as well. We have had some beautiful weather, don't get me wrong, but there is definitely the fall-chill in the air in the mornings and evenings despite the really warm afternoons.

I feel like I have been doing just a terrible job of documenting the everyday happenings around here and I really hope that changes because we are in a really good place right now and finding our new normal. I'm pretty sure I have talked before about how Ben and I are pretty routine-craving people and that having a baby threw us for a loop in that department. It's like before you have a baby you know things will change, be different, unpredictable and challenging but you don't know quite how much until it is you.

These days we are embracing whatever "routine" or "schedule" we have for the day. There have been many low points in my days with Eleanor, I will definitely admit that, but I am focusing on the high points these days. All of a sudden, last week, it hit me that she is 9 months, well actually over 9 months, old and will be one in less than three months. Less than three months?! What in the heck have I been doing these past nine months?! Well, even though it has been a slow process, I have been adjusting to my new normal.

This past weekend was pretty great even though I was feeling a bit under the weather. Last weekend, we had arrived home from vacation on Sunday and kind of just hopped back into the week. This weekend we got to relax on Friday night, enjoy a leisurely morning on Saturday and celebrate a friend's engagement on Saturday afternoon. Sunday morning, again, started out slowly, enjoying family breakfast and lunch, a couple of naps for E and then Ben's birthday dinner. None of it was too fancy or exciting but that is where we are now. And we love it. Friday night, our friend's band was playing in the city and we considered going until we found out he probably wasn't going on until about 11:30. PM. Ben still thought about going even after heard that because he hasn't seen them play yet and he wanted to see our friends but after talking about it, we realized {and I think we already knew but were trying to feel somewhat social} that we just aren't in that place right now. And that's okay. Maybe next summer we will be able to make a late show like that but last Friday night just wasn't the night. We haven't stayed a night away from Eleanor as a couple and Ben has only been away for business and a wedding and he decided that wasn't how he wanted to spend a chosen night away from her quite yet.

If we have learned anything {I mean we have learned a million things} it is that each phase/stage is so fleeting. Each stage that I have thought couldn't possibly get any harder, could have been over the next week.  I know that people told me that at the time and it is so easy for experienced moms to tell me all that but at the time it is just really hard to hear. There have only been a few people that I have been able to just vent to and not get some sort of piece of advice. Sometimes you just need an ear, ya know? I am grateful for those people and over time, one of those people did become my husband. Ben always wants to be able to fix a problem or give a solution and I think he realized that wasn't always going to be the case. Sometimes, I just need to talk, vent, get mad or cry and he would just have to listen. We have always had strong communication but this experience has strengthened it even more. We have found balance between when to say something and when to not. When he is being super patient, I may not be and vice versa. I am by no means saying we have any of this figured out or that we are experts at all, but we are getting better and getting to a point where we have our feet under us a little bit more than we did.

I know this is all sort of random and scattered but I haven't been able to blog much and when I do it feels more like a journal entry of where my thoughts are on this one particular day. I know it will be nice to look back at when we are considering another baby and I need a reality check as to if we are really ready to head down that road again!

So, Happy Monday and here's to a good week! ;)

Thoughts Lately

Well, I basically can't believe that it is already a week into August. Summer felt like it was already flying and now we have plans the next few weekends so basically there goes August. It is kind of bittersweet. It is so fun experiencing summer with an 8 month old. She is so observant and curious and loves being outside but at the same time, when time is flying, all that means is that she is getting older!

Having a baby is full of double edged sword type situations, I think. On one hand, this is awful to say, but some days I can't wait for her to grow, get older, sleep longer, be walking and talking and telling me what's wrong and what she needs and on the other hand, I just want her to stay this sweet age forever with soft baby skin, sweet toes, lovely baby talk, and sweet cuddles when she is tired. When she is happy, I am so happy and when she is mad or sad...well, you can guess, I am so mad or sad. We are all just learning everyday...how to balance, how to deal, what to try, what to throw out and although it is one of the hardest, most challenging job I have ever had--I wouldn't change it. I am becoming better. I am becoming more patient, more nurturing, more selfless everyday and I would say those are all traits I welcome with open arms.

Ben and I had our three year anniversary last week and then actually celebrated this past weekend. It is funny how dates make you reflect. I guess that's why we have them. It was interesting to look back at our wedding day, our first anniversary, our second and where we are today. So much has changed yet a lot is the same. Our relationship has continued to grow, flourish and strengthen each year. That's really all we can ask for. For our celebration we went to a little town called La Connor about an hour northwest of where we live. It was a beautiful day, we had lunch, wandered around and relaxed. We left Eleanor at my parents' house and the goal was not necessarily to miss a feeding for the first time but to know that we could if we wanted. We left my parents equipped with breastmilk and cups and we were gone for about five and a half hours. I know it doesn't sound like that long but for a mom who is with her baby basically 24/7 it felt like so long. But in a good way. I felt refreshed when we got back and that's just what we were looking for.

I want so badly to blog more and take down our memories but every day all of a sudden the day is over and all I feel like doing is vegging out on the couch in the evenings. It has finally gotten to where I don't feel like going straight to bed when I put the baby down every night so it is nice to have a little husband time at the end of the days and not have my face glued to the computer.

I was running a little bit with the jogging stroller because I was aiming to possibly do a 10k when we go on vacation in September but seeing as now that is about 4 weeks away and I stopped jogging due to my back flaring up again, I don't think that is going to happen. I am hoping to pick up some yoga to work on my back muscles and stretching. I don't know if I am aiming to do some at home or find a class I may be able to get to a couple times a week. I don't want to jinx anything now but it seems Eleanor's sleep habits may be getting a little more predictable. Like everything else, it seems we take two steps forward and five one step back!

Eleanor is actually taking her first mom-induced crib nap right now and everyday I think of a million things to jot down if only I could actually open up the computer and not look at blogs on my phone and now I am drawing a blank!

I guess that's all I have to offer for today but hopefully I will be having a little more in the coming weeks. I will also be sure to post and 8 month post here pretty soon. There is much to report on with our little girl and I surely don't want to forget any of that!

The 4th Weekend in a Row With no Rain

Yes, I would say that is something to brag about around these parts. Ben said that to me yesterday and then we had a chuckle that even if it's fifty five degrees and not that sunny, just having no rain is something to be happy about.

This past weekend was really, really nice. A few weekends ago, I think we were feeling like we were in a rut. We hadn't been doing much on the weekends, but they seemed to go so quickly. So, last weekend, we made plans, hung out with some friends, went out to a restaurant and it was refreshing.

This weekend, we stayed home all weekend but it didn't feel like it flew by and it was enjoyable. Friday, Ben worked a half day and was home by one in the afternoon. We hung out, had some lunch and then I went to a home shopping party with a friend and Ben and Baby E had a date. I got home, Ben made some dinner and we  had a good night's sleep.

Saturday morning we woke up and got going slowly. We had the first season of Mad Men from Netflix so we watched a few episodes of that, played with Eleanor and relaxed. After a couple of hours, we both started getting antsy so we got some chores done. Nothing too exciting--vacuuming, dusting, getting some books together to give away, getting rid of some clutter, laundry, dishes cleaning the bathrooms. None of it really felt like work, though, we had some music going and were visiting the whole time. Ben, then, decided to head out and mow the lawn so E and I stayed in the house and she ate, napped and I read and watched the Kentucky Derby. It was relaxing. When Ben finished, we made dinner, had a glass of wine, watched the Spurs game and I headed in to nurse E to sleep.

Sunday morning we awoke to bright blue skies. We had known it was supposed to be nicer on Sunday than Saturday so it was nice that we had done a majority of chores on Saturday. We watched the last episode of Mad Men, made breakfast, talked to Ben's family on Skype and put E down for a nap. We headed outside and played with the chickens a bit and once Eleanor woke up we took Holly down to the lake to throw the ball for her. E got to ride in the front pack, sunglasses and all. Eleanor just loves being outside. She is relaxed and just sort of takes it all in. I love it. When we got back from the lake, we made lunch, laid a blanket out in the yard and let Eleanor roll around while we ate. We came inside for a bit, Eleanor had a little cat-nap and then we took her jumper outside and shaded her while Ben and I read. So relaxing. We came in, had a bite to eat before Ben went to play basketball and then it was just E and I. She napped for a while, woke up, played and then it was time for bed. We had a marathon diaper event before bed {3 diapers before we had a clean one to put her down in!} and once Ben got home, we got her down and she slept great again.

There was nothing major that happened this weekend. Now big event to report on. It was just an all-around, nice, relaxing weekend. At the end of each day we were relaxed, got to smile at each other and say we had a great day. I love that. I love that Baby E is so content when we are all together as a family, get to spend time outside and enjoy each other. I know we will always look back fondly on days like this as she grows and know that they laid the foundation for her loving family.

I just realized I exaggerated a little bit. It did rain on Saturday morning. But that was tolerable because we were doing chores! 

Saturday Warm Fuzzies

Do you ever have those moments you just want to savor?

I had one at about 3am this morning.

I was rocking my baby after she had her feeding and was resting my cheek against her soft hair--or she was resting her head against my cheek. either way, we were resting on each other--my eyes were closed, I breathed deeply and thanked God for this beautiful blessing.

I am always thankful for her but in this moment, I prayed that she stay this sweet, healthy, and happy for as long as I have anything to do with it.

I held her a couple extra moments longer, set her back down, crawled back in bed and curled up next to my husband.

It was a beautiful and peaceful 3am wake-up where I got to savor my many blessings.

Happy Weekending, friends.

The Reality of It

I was talking to my close friend yesterday who has two sons. She has always thought she was going to have a third child but now she says she is on the fence. There were reasons that she told me and then unfortunately, I brought up the one that none of us likes to admit is kind of a legitimate reason to stop expanding the family.

Money.

It is a family's choice how children will be raised. Going to daycare. At home with mom. At home with a baby-sitter. At home with some other family member. There are obviously  multiple ways to choose how your family brings in money and who spends the days with the kids.

For many families, the choice is for the wife to stay home and the husband to go to work. For my friend and I, this is what our families have chosen. However, it makes things a little tight around the spending area. Not saying that two-income families have things easy by any means but this is the subject that we got on. With the way our economy is these days, it is hard to fathom having a big family and being able to live on one income.

It then brings me to the question of: Why do we want a lot of kids or a bigger family?


I grew up with one sibling and Ben grew up with two. I think I always liked the idea of maybe having another sibling or two. I don't know why I just did. So growing up, I thought I would have four kids. I think Ben always liked that idea too. After having our first child, we have realized many challenges with a baby that I think we didn't expect but all that aside, the reality of one income and the cost of raising children has reared it's ugly head.

This realization makes me sad. I don't think a reason for not having as many children as you like should be money. I do think there are ways to make it work but it takes sacrifice somewhere. If we want Ben to be in a position of many long work hours I think we know ways and where he can fit in to make a hefty salary to support us. However, we want a dad that is present for our family and not one that we see every once and awhile. We have always been very clear about that.

My friend and I were just commiserating on the fact that we don't want money to be a reason to stop having babies, but in reality, I think that is a reason. It is sad and scary how much life costs these days. But it is what it is and we all get by somehow. We are so fortunate for what we do have and thankful to be stay at home moms with husbands willing to support us and our family choices. Whether she has one more and whether I have one, two or three more, is obviously up in the air and will work itself out but it doesn't hurt to look into the future a bit and try to see what lies ahead.

But, hey, anytime this economic downturn wants to upturn would be just dandy!

Lovely Weekend

Oh my goodness. This past weekend we got a little taste of summer and boy did it taste good.

It started for me on Friday, waking up after a bit of a rough Thursday night with the baby, and having invited some girlfriends and their babies over. I was actually glad that I had planned to have friends over because it helped me snap out of the bad night and move on. We all had lunch, visited, watched the babies roll around and it was just all around a fun time.

Saturday morning we woke up to a beautiful day and hit the ground running. Eleanor had slept well the night before and we were so thankful for that. It truly is amazing how sleep the night before can make or break you. We headed to the grocery store, came home and Ben did some stuff outside and Eleanor and I played in and outside. We ended the day with an impromptu BBQ with some friends and their two little boys.

Sunday we woke up, had breakfast and talked with Ben's family on the computer. It's fun for them to see how much Eleanor is starting to change. We again, got some things done around the house, washed cars {which is always fun to do in the sun!} and then got ready for dinner at my grandma's. We, of course, had to have a little photo shoot with the babe before we went.

We had such a wonderful weekend full of sun, family and friends. I just can't wait for summer, nice weather and the endless adventure we are on with our girl. She just continues to grow and change right before our eyes and time is just flying!

**4 month E post coming this week

Dream Job

As Ben and I were chatting on Gchat the other day while he was at work, he sent me a link and said, "Dream job." I clicked the link and immediately knew what he was talking about.

I worked in the restaurant industry for almost 7 years. For the most part, I loved it. Obviously, in any job there are ups and downs but I did love all the ups. I love food. Ben loves food. I often, offhandedly, mention things about having a restaurant someday. I managed for the company I worked for, for a little while and while I did like some aspects, I realized that the lifestyle of a restaurant manager was not one that was conducive to being a stay at home mom. My current dream job. However, when we were in Portland last year, we experienced the food carts and sometimes I love that idea. Having a cart in a business district, busily distributing lunch and closing for the day after lunch. I make a pretty mean sandwich. Anyway.

I am about to connect the dots, I promise.

Ben and I often talk about moving to a bigger piece of land, having animals, having a garden and lots of room of our child(ren) to run around on. This isn't very realistic right now but we are hoping it will be someday. It is funny that Ben feels this way because he has always lived within five minutes of a grocery store and that sort of thing but I know he will love being a little more removed from the city.

Source

Back to the website I was staring at.

Essentially a farm, with cows, goats, chickens, etc. growing an abundance of produce most of which goes into a restaurant on-site. Dream job. How amazing to live your life right on your land doing all the things you love and getting to put it into a business you love as well.

Source

Source

So I looked at Ben a few days later and said, "Well, what do we do to make that a reality for us?"
He let me know that we are kind of doing it. We have a garden that we add a little bit to every year. We are actually getting our chickens this year that we had thought we were getting last year. Little by little, we are leaning toward a lifestyle we dream of.

We randomly try to think of ways, most of the time we are in jest, to be able to create a business to stay home together or at least work together. The thing with starting our own business, though, is that Ben and I aren't real risk-takers so obviously starting a business requires some risk. If you know us, you are most likely smiling right now because you know exactly what I'm talking about. 


Being in our mid-twenties, we don't have set goals of what we are working toward, career-wise, except for being able to provide for our family for the lifestyle we see fit, being happy, being healthy and not having to work such long hours that we don't get to spend time together as a family. Whether that be sticking with the career Ben is currently working on, or someday, taking a little risk, branching out and trying new things.

It's always fun to dream.

If you know of a way to guarantee success as a farmer, know of a plot of land for us to obtain for cheap or have any insight into any of the above subjects--go ahead and let us know! ;)

Happy Family

I really can't put into words how great our last 9 days were. We had Ben home and it was just perfect. Some may say we are boring because we do anything or go anywhere, but truthfully, we did just what we wanted: Stayed home, enjoyed our girl and enjoyed each other. We haven't had that much time all together since the peanut was born and then it was pretty much just survival mode.

Each day we got into a little routine, sleeping in as much as the babe allowed, making meals, playing with the girl, exercising, and getting a few chores done around the house.

The strength of mine and Ben's relationship has really shined through over the past year. I would say the past four months but really it has been since we learned I was pregnant. It is funny to look back over the course of our relationship and see where we are now because we started out dating as sophomores in college. Who could have seen then where we would be now?! It really is amazing how much we grow and change and it is so fun to do it together. I am so blessed to have a man who is so involved in every aspect of my life and now our daughter's life. He is so supportive and we are such a good balance. Things he may not know as much about or isn't as sure of he lets me take the reigns and vice versa. If either of us have a concern, we like to voice it right away. Even if a conversation starts out defensive on one end, it ends up being a healthy conversation and ends with understanding on both ends.

I guess the reason I am reflecting on this is because we had so much time together last week and got to see each other day to day in our new roles as Mom and Dad in addition to husband and wife. I also pointed out to Ben that in addition to all of our responsibilities to Eleanor, a huge one we have to her is showing her a strong, healthy marriage and relationship. Ben looked at me and said, "Yeah, I mean the way I treat you is going to show her how a man should treat her." Exactly my thoughts, Husband. She is a lucky girl because her dad treats her mom pretty dang well.

Source: Uploaded by user via Allyce on Pinterest

So much more about life becomes clear and things that didn't seem like a big deal before are a big deal now because we are the example for our sweet babe. That is a huge deal! However, there are many other things that used to be a big deal that aren't anymore. For instance, I think when Hub and I started dating sophomore year, many of our arguments are definitely not things we would argue about today.

Living, learning and loving day by day. I am just a lucky, happy Mama and Wife to have such a wonderful husband and daughter to be on this adventure with.

A Bit of Catching Up

Holy Moly. Where have I been?! No idea. Nothing new. Tending to my home and the baby. Obviously not blogging. I was so proud of myself in the month of February pertaining to the blog but then I kind of fell out of my routine in the month of March.

The month of March has been spent (pretty much unsuccessfully) trying to get Eleanor on a napping schedule. That could be why I haven't gotten a post written. Her reaction to getting laid down in her crib for a nap pretty much alerts the neighborhood that we are very certainly torturing her. She falls asleep in our arms, we walk around, we lay her down and she won't have it. At night, we still swaddle, nurse, rock and lay her down and she is perfectly fine. Anyway, long story short, she is napping in her swing. Not ideal, but at least she is sleeping for some lengths of time during the day.

Husband has been off work for the rest of his paternity leave. One word: awesome. It is so nice that he got two weeks of leave and only had to use one week of it in December. When he used that week coupled with the holidays and such, we were in such a daze, trying to keep our heads above water with our newborn that it just flew by. Now, with our almost four month old, we are basically enjoying a stay-cation. It is seriously amazing to me how much faster I get things done around this place with the Hub home. I can bust out chores like the old days, pre-Eleanor. It is also really fun to have Hub around to see all the fun developments that we are seeing with the babe.

We planted some vegetable seeds the other day to start indoors so we will see how that goes. We did it a couple of years ago and it worked ok. Hopefully it will work better this year. Of course our future farmgirl had to be in on the action.

We most certainly enjoyed the first rounds of March Madness last weekend. We both filled out brackets and neither are doing well but that's ok. We just love watching.

We are looking forward to some nicer weather. Who knows when that is coming but I am hopeful. It has basically been just cold, rainy and sometimes windy which is not great for any type of getting out of the house. 

I am getting a little excited because I have been getting the crafting itch again. I have a few simple projects in mind that will mostly consist of using some things around the house which is always exciting.

We have been going to a few of Ben's basketball games on Sunday nights which is fun because he plays with  the guys in our vacation  group so the other babies are there, we all visit, and Eleanor has been doing really well at them. Evenings are usually our "challenging" time with her but the games keep her entertained, distracted and it actually seems like she is watching!

I am also, slowly, trying to get back in shape. It is really hard to convince myself to workout when Eleanor finally goes down for a nap, I am hungry and just want to sit down. But I am going to try. She also inherited a jumper from her cousin (2nd cousin?) which she enjoys so that could start buying me a little bit more time to do things.

Anyway, nothing too exciting around here, just the usual.

But.

Our usual is pretty enjoyable these days.

Relaxing, A Trip to Home Depot (Okay 3), and a Date

I haven't talked about a weekend in awhile and honestly that is kind of because we haven't really done much on the weekends around here. Ben has worked a lot of weekends and when he wasn't working we wanted to maximize his time with Baby E as much as possible. We have spent a lot of time at home.

Being at home is pretty much the norm for us but obviously since I am home all day everyday nowadays, it is nice to get out of the house here and there.

Saturday we got up leisurely, milled around the house a bit and then decided to make a trip to Home Depot for a couple things we needed. Well, one of the things wasn't right so Ben ran back. I waited at home anxiously because...

wait for it...

...we had decided that this was the day/evening for our first date away from the baby. Granted Ben had been away from the baby because he goes to work everyday. The only other time I had left her was for about 20 minutes when she was 6 or 7 weeks old to run to the grocery store. So this was kind of a big deal for me.

My parents arrived and I tried to just make the departure quick so I didn't freak out. I left a bottle of breastmilk  because I thought she would eat while we were gone.

We didn't go too far but had a nice time. We just went to a burger place, had dinner, a couple of beers and visited. I admitted to Ben halfway through the meal that I was feeling a little tipsy after my beer and a half. Embarrassing!

Anyway, I know if we are going to continue to thrive in our marriage, it is important to nurture our relationship as much as nurturing our child/ren. So, I was very happy that we broke the ice and went out. It is also so nice to have my parents so close to babysit. I don't think we would be so quick to head out if we had to have a stranger or something babysit!

So I survived being away the whole hour and a half and when we got home, my parents were very disappointed because she slept the whole time!

On Sunday we again had a leisurely morning and then I went to the grocery store and back to Home Depot to return something else.

When I got home, Ben worked for a little while, E napped, we went for a walk, watched 50/50, cooked dinner and started getting ready for bed. We hadn't changed our sleeping arrangements yet despite my lack of sleep however, for some reason this seemed like the night. I had been working on putting E in her crib or in the pack and play for naps so we figured she would be okay going down in her pack and play. We rocked her for a bit and she went down. She slept in her pack and play the whole night. It was a little strange but I will admit I got some better sleep. 

This weekend felt great because not only did we have some quality time together as a family and as a couple but we had a couple of monumental events happen. Well, monumental in our little world.

{my heart}

Next up: take more family pictures!

In the spirit of this day of love, go ahead and check out our love story.

Our Love Story

In the spirit of the Valentine's holiday I thought I would join in the fun of sharing the story of Ben and I. I came across the link up on I Love You More Than Carrots who linked up with From Mrs. to Mama. I started the blog after we were married so besides bits and pieces here and there, I don't think I have shared any details about the Hub and I and how we came to be. Plus, it's always fun to remember back to those early days of love! Here is the fun little survey she posted:

1. How long have you and your significant other been together? We began dating in October of 2004 so about 7 1/2 years.

2. How did you meet? {What's your "love" story?} Ben and I were neighbors in the dorm beginning our second quarter of freshman year of college. I walked past his room everyday to get to my room and would wave. We began hanging out mostly with his group of friends and a couple of my girlfriends. By the end of freshman year, I was hanging out with those guys practically every weekend. We all parted ways for the summer. Ben is from Texas so he went home to San Antonio for the summer.

On the 4th of July I got a call from Ben. I was surprised since we hadn't talked since school got out but it was fun to say hi and I didn't think anything of it. About a month later, I got another call. I had just had knee surgery so I think I was a little out of it and Ben later told me that I was short with him and not very nice. Whoops!

Sophomore year came and I had moved into an apartment with a girlfriend and Ben had moved into a house with 4 other guys. We ran into each other a couple days before school started and I picked right back up where I left off spending a lot of time hanging out with the group of guys. One day, walking home from the bus, I told my roommate that I thought I liked Ben. I was definitely questioning it though because I no idea if he liked me and I didn't want to ruin any kind of friendship with him or any of the other guys if things didn't work out. We continued to hang out, my feelings grew and then one night we all decided to go to a movie together. Ben apparently thought that this was our "first date" however, I had no idea that was the case because it was me and a few other guys going to a movie. Well, I had been hanging out with my roommates boyfriend before the guys came to pick us up and let's just say we had been indulging a bit in some beverages and I did not put my best foot forward that night. So, I felt pretty stupid after that and a couple of weekends later, a group of us went bowling. 

We were all having a great time and my girlfriend decided to take me aside and told me she had some exciting news. In a really immature, middle-school, girl type fashion mature way she told me that Ben liked me. {Seriously, how awesome were we?! "Liked?" Come on now, we were mature sophomores in college but still getting all giddy over a boy...oh brother!} Anyway, after that I totally let my guard down and started flirting. I think he realized my feelings as well and started flirting back. Well, that night we had our first kiss and after that basically became inseparable. 

I think we did end up spending maybe a little too much time together right away and probably annoyed our roommates quite a bit but I think all of that is so hard to tell when you are just starting to date someone. Looking back we would probably do things a little differently but it obviously worked out alright! ;)

3. If married, how long have you been married? If not, is this the guy you hope to marry? {do tell} We have been married for 2 1/2 years. We got married in August 2009.

4. If you are married, where did you get married at? Big or small wedding?  If not, where would you like to get married? And will it be big or small? We got married at a little "farm" in a smallish wedding of about 120 friends and family. We then got to take our honeymoon for a few days in Colorado and then headed down to San Antonio for a reception of family and friends there. 

5. Do you have any nick-names that you call one another? Do share! I feel like we used to have more nicknames but they have faded out and there are mostly just a lot of "honeys" and "babes."

6. Name 3 things you love most about your honey. I love the way he loves me--strong, sure, without fail and good days and bad. I have found a new love for him in the way he loves our daughter. He is always supportive of me no matter what crazy thing I am doing.

7. Tell us how he proposed? Or your ideal proposal? I love it because I was completely surprised!

We were living together and Ben was about a month away of graduating college. It was a Sunday night {Mother's Day to be exact} and Ben told me he had to go to campus late to work on a group project because his group-mates were getting back late from Mother's Day. We said bye and I climbed into bed to watch Desperate Housewives. Gosh, I literally remember this like it was yesterday and it was almost 4 years ago! About 20 minutes later, I got a call from our friend to say he had wandered up on this hill on campus and had lost his keys. It was dark so he was having trouble seeing and could I come get him to take him home and get his spare. Ben had been checking to see where my cell phone was for a little bit before he left which I had noticed but hadn't really thought anything of. I reluctantly got out of bed and drove a few blocks to pick up our friend. I saw him by his car, I got out and he handed me a rose with a note saying, "Meet me at the top. Love, Ben." I looked quizzically at our friend but he just smiled and got in my car and we drove to the top. I honestly, still, at that time did not suspect a proposal. I thought he was just doing something romantic. 

We got to the top and our friend walked me down the dark path and came to the clearing where a wooden tower sits at the top of the hill that overlooks the city. The city where we fell in love. The stairs were lined with candles, as was the platform once I got to the top and there was my love. He shared his feelings with me and got down on one knee and said the magic words. I didn't give the reaction he wanted because I was in shock. It took me a second to say yes but once I did, he scooped me up, we kissed, and he shouted, "We're gettin' married!"

Not super flattering but SO happy!

8. Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy for v-day, or strawberries, champagne, and rose petals? Probably not a teddy bear but definitely flowers and a card.

9. Are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl, or pop a movie in and relax on the couch? Well who doesn't love to be on a beach?! However, we have always been a movie on the couch kind of couple. We are homebodies which is obviously one of the many reasons we are so compatible. 

10. Tell us one thing you'd like to do with your significant one day. If you could do anything? Go anywhere? We would love to go to Disneyworld together. He loves it there, I have only been to Disneyland so we will do this someday. There have been talks of going at Christmas one year, so we will see what happens. 

11. Tell us what you plan on doing on this Valentine's Day. Since it's a Tuesday, we won't go out but I will try to put some effort into at least being dressed and making dinner. 

12. Are you asking for anything this Valentine's day? Just the hubby home for the evening since he has been working such crazy hours!

13. Give us one piece of advice of keeping a relationship strong and full of love. Communication. If there is one thing that Ben and I have always done, it is talk about everything. There is never anything that I would hesitate to tell him or discuss with him. This was, we never let anything stew or build up or harbor any negative or angry feelings.

14.  Show us a picture of what love means to you.

Happiest moment of our lives.

So fun taking a walk down memory lane. I love my honey so much and don't know what my life would be without him!

Go link up!