"I've got nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?"

Sorry, I couldn't help myself with that line from a movie. Speaking of milking, let's talk about breastfeeding. If you have no interest in milk, nipples, feeding a baby, etc. I would just go ahead and stop reading here. For those of you that can relate, offer advice, commiserate or are interested--read on.

Breastfeeding is not easy. I didn't really realize this. I had always known that I would want to breastfeed my babies if possible. My mom did, I think it's this right decision for me and I love the intimacy of it with my baby. I thought, okay, I'll have a baby, she has a mouth, I have a nipple, milk will come out and we will all go on our merry way. However, it is not all a barrel of laughs and I think many women forget to share this information so I am going to share.

The very first couple of times that Eleanor latched after being born, she was getting a little high on my nipple so she caused some blistering. I did not notice this at the time because I was in a state of euphoria having just birthed my daughter. I just thought, "Oh, great, she's on there are sucking--this will be a breeze." Oh, silly me. From then on, I have never had a problem getting her to latch or suck. Oh boy, does she suck. Similar to a vacuum cleaner I would say. My milk came in on about day 4 which was great. It was not horribly uncomfortable. I think I had a clogged duct for a couple of days but with pumping, nursing and massaging it worked itself out. The problem that I seem to have encountered is this horrendous, toe-curling nipple pain. I seriously thought something was wrong because why in the world would it hurt this bad? This is a natural thing, what I am supposed to be doing right? Ben tried to explain that it makes sense it would hurt--after all this is a new thing, never have my poor nipples been subjected to this type of man handling baby mouthing before. Okay, on I go.

I start mentioning this pain to my other friends who have breast fed. Oh, why yes, they say, the first few weeks there was definitely pain when the baby first got on but it went away. I mention it to my midwife at our two week postpardum appointment. Oh, why yes, she says, it will go away. Some women have that little pain forever though, it may never go away but hopefully will get better. Okay, I am normal, this is normal. I have come to realize that with babies, women tend to block out the bad parts after a certain amount of time. Maybe I shouldn't use the term bad but how about the hard parts. We all talk about the magic of a baby, how sweet, how cute, how wonderful it all is--and don't get me wrong I agree with all of this--but it is also helpful to hear some of the hard parts too, so we are prepared for them. And so we don't think we are freaks for having a few struggles.

I still have the nipple pain on day 21. It is hard to want to put my nipple in her mouth sometimes but I do it because once it's in there and she starts sucking it's fine. It is a little comical to me that I had a great, natural birth and here I am whining about some nipple pain. Oh, the irony. It is better when I pump it a few times in the morning and then start feeding her in the afternoon. However, when that happens I am only feeding her on one side and she doesn't get enough to keep her full very long so on those days it means feeding her every hour. Which is also hard.

On a positive note, I do love breastfeeding. I love holding her sweet, little body in my lap and knowing that I am giving her everything she needs. I know it will get easier or my nipple may just fall off and in a few months I will be one of the women who look back and struggle to remember the hard parts. She is also a really easy baby to nurse. She wakes, is hungry, eats from both breasts and then has a diaper change. All pretty easy in that respect. I also know that breastfeeding isn't for every woman and that's fine too. I have nothing against moms who don't breastfeed because if I have learned anything over the past year of all my friends having babies or the past 21 days of having my own, it is that every baby and every mom is different.

I did not write this post to scare anyone off from breastfeeding, I wrote it to have an honest recount of my experience over the past few weeks and to be honest with any expecting moms out there. Seriously, I swear there is a mom somewhere who has experienced what you are experiencing and can relate with you, no matter what.

Happy milking! ;)